To me it was always common knowledge that modern law consists of very few trials, but mostly of plea deals. Trials are expensive for both the defendant and the State. For this reason, I was leaning toward a trial rather than a plea. If the State wanted me, they were going to have to come get me.
However, in the local Alternative Press, about a year before I ruined my life by drinking too much and doing what I 100% admit doing, I’m just not yet sure exactly what, I had read an interesting article. “Defense” Attorneys score legal brownie points and enhance their careers by working with the DA to convince their clients to take the plea deal offered by the DA. At first, I didn’t think McMurphree was that kind of Attorney. I thought I had a guy who would fight for me. I may have been wrong.
I met with McMurphee to discuss the case, and go over a plea offer he had received from the DA. Currently, no pun intended, I was charged, no pun intended, with 1: Reckless Felony Assault with a Deadly Weapon, Doorknob 2: Resisting Arrest, and 3: Assault of a Sheriff’s Deputy while I was resisting arrest. McMurphfree set the charging documents before me to review. I read things over and then looked up at McMurphree. “Where’s the rest of it?” I asked.
“That’s all they gave me” he said.
One of the funny, informative websites I enjoyed at the time was “The Smoking Gunz.” It had full police reports and accompanying mug shots of all sorts of crime, emphasizing the unusual, bizarre, especially stupid or humorous criminal behavior. It also had a game where you match the mug shot to the crime. (I wasn’t very good at that one: you can’t always tell a criminal by his or her face.) I wanted to read my own police report, especially now that I knew I had been TEASER-ed. I wanted to know how many times I was TEASER-ed. I wanted to know exactly what I was accused of doing. All McMurphree showed me was a document with a cut and paste of the legal definitions of Felony Assault, Misdemeaner Assault, and Resisting Arrest, and saying I was accused of those three things. There was no narrative.
“I want the narrative” I said. “These are just definitions.”
“Well, that may not matter. The DA is willing to drop the Felony Assault if you’ll plead guilty to Resisting Arrest and Misdemeanor Assault of a Sheriff’s Deputy. What do you think? That’s a pretty good deal. Then you can still work with the scouts, be a hockey coach, whatever you want. You won’t have a Felony Record. You’ll just have a Misdemeanor.”
“You told the DA he had no case. You told me Judge Judgeson might consider an ACD Adjudication in Contemplation of Dismissal. I’m not pleading to Resisting Arrest. I didn’t resist arrest. I let them cuff me and I got in the car. I was trying to loosen my watch, they yanked me out of the car and TEASER-ed me. Besides, they’re not worried about what I supposedly did to my son? They’re more worried about me trying not to get electrocuted by the Deputies? Forget it. I’ll take a trial. I’ll take the stand and tell the Judge what really happened.”
“Listen, you’re not going to take the stand, if this ever does go to trial. You’re not going to give up your right to remain silent. If you don’t want the deal, fine. But this isn’t the movies; you’re not going to throw yourself on the mercy of the court. The court has no mercy, the DA has no mercy, the Sheriff has no mercy. The DA could still add more charges. They could charge you with Endangering the Welfare of a Child. That’s so generic you’ll never win that one. If you try to fight a pack of wolves and the last wolf gets you, you’re still got. So cut the bullshit. If you go to trial you could win or lose on each separate charge. A plea deal is a sure thing.
Your son is ok. He got two stitches, and he’s going to be ok. You’re ok, too. Yeah, you got some ‘street justice,’ quite a bit, maybe. But you’re young and healthy. You’ll be ok. You walk into a court room looking in perfect health and you think a jury is going to feel sorry for you that the cops were a little rough after what you did to your son? Bullshit. It won’t work. Your son’s fine, now it’s time to worry about you. You want to take a chance on a felony or take the sure thing misdemeanor?”
“OK” I said, somewhat taken aback. “How long do I have to decide?”
“You have time. Our next appearance before Judge Judgeson is in 12 days. I’ll try to get you the full arrest report, if there is one.”
“OK.”
I walked out into the September afternoon sun, thinking about the offer. Was McMurphree trying to hand me over to the DA and score a quick guilty plea? Helping to prevent a possible countersuit for excessive use of force? Or was he trying to help me out of a no-win situation? A nice simple misdemeanor resisting arrest with no mention of what I did to my son? And, by the way, what did I do to my son? Maybe it will be in the arrest report.
Shocked in the Suburbs 