I awoke from my nap refreshed. I took another look at my wounds and took a few pictures. My face was a little scratched up but not too bad. I had black and blue marks under my armpits and at my elbows from the deputies’ batons. My wrists were chafed from the tight handcuffs. About halfway up my left forearm there was still a mark from my watch which had been pushed up above the handcuffs. My back felt sore and as I turned to the left in the mirror, I saw a red stripe about 6 inches long following the curve of my pecs. I took a couple of half-assed pictures of it, hard to do alone. I thought maybe it was from the cops stepping on my back to hold me down in the grass. My T shirt was ripped in the same place. I got dressed and went to the attorney’s office. From the motel’s Yellow Pages I had picked Patrick McMurfee of the law firm of Weinberger and McMurfee.
He ushered me in, and we went to a medium sized conference room. I explained the basics: been depressed, wife wants a divorce, I was drinking, kids were playing nicely, then fighting, then nicely again. I was sort of zoning out, relaxing, web surfing. The weekend before had been hectic; me and the boys at Adventure Camp for the weekend, wife home on her own. We had had a swimming pool put in the week before also, but the water was still too cold to swim. My son, bored, came up and turned off my laptop. I got up too fast, started chasing him and blacked out. Came around and there was a sheriff’s deputy asking me “What’s going on here? Why is there blood all over the place?”
McMurfee looked to be in his early fifties. Dad bod. Short hair.
“Well, the good news is the kids are ok. Your son got two stitches. I talked to the DA and informed him I would be talking to you today and might be representing you. He sent me this police report so you can see what the charges are.”
He pushed a couple of sheets of paper to me and I took a look. I wasn’t impressed. It looked like they had cut and pasted the definition of assault and resisting arrest into a report form. Resisting Arrest, a misdemeanor, and “reckless felony assault with a deadly weapon: doorknob.” Felony Assault with a deadly weapon.
“Where’s the narrative?” I asked. “This is just a definition. Where does it say what I did?” Having had blacked out and remembering only bits and pieces, I was wondering just what I had done, or was accused of doing.
“That’s all they gave me.” McMurfee replied. I had been hoping for something like I’d seen on “The Puff of Smoke” a popular, humorous police report website. McMurfee took pictures of my face and wrists and said I had gotten a little “street justice.” He then went over his fee structure and asked if I wanted him to represent me. I agreed to hire him because he made it sound like he could plea down to less than criminal charges. I signed on the dotted line. He said he’d call the DA and the Penford court and get an arraignment date.
“By the way,” he said, “the judge asked me and I’m curious too: just what is it you do at Roquefort University? What does a Radiation Health Physicist do?”
“Well, I check radiation and contamination levels at the various places radioactive materials are used at RU/Weaks. I check up on Nuclear Medicine, Nuclear Cardiology, Rad Oncology. We call it a “Radiation Survey.” Sometimes I’m in the Operating Room during Radioactive treatments, to monitor the patients and clean up any radioactive material that gets loose. We also survey the research labs which use radioactive materials. We monitor everyone’s radiation dose with what we call “dosimeters.” I ship out the radioactive waste from The Phaser Lab. I also perform safety checks on the Death Rays.”
“You have Death Rays at RU/Weaks?”
“Well, we’re not really supposed to call them Death Rays. They’re called “Irradiators” and we have about a dozen or so. They’re sort of “Top Secret” but on the other hand there was a front-page story last year in Today In The USA so it’s sort of common knowledge. Many hospitals have Blood Irradiators and the Federal Energetics Department wants to phase out the cesium irradiators and replace them with x-ray irradiators. But that’s the type of thing I do. I’ve never been arrested before.”
“I know that, and that’s one of the things helping you right now. Another thing is your job. You’re obviously not just a bum off the street. When do you plan to go back to work?”
“I’m not sure yet. Maybe tomorrow.”
“OK. You should probably see your doctor first, and maybe an eye doctor, too. And listen: don’t let this get you down too much, ok? Don’t dwell on it. You’ll get through this. A lot of people have done bad things they regret, especially when alcohol is involved. Some have done much worse. I also recommend you call around and get an alcohol assessment. You should do it voluntarily, because the Judge will order it anyway if you don’t. I also recommend Anger Management counseling. The Judge will likely order that too, so you may as well get ahead of the game. I’ll contact you when I get the arraignment schedule.”
“Thank you.”
One other thing: write things down while they’re fresh in your mind. Write up a narrative from your point of view and we’ll compare it to whatever else I can get from the Sheriff’s Office. Also, can you get any friends to write “Good Guy” letters to the Judge? We have to reinforce that this is out of character and a one-time event. A couple of letters like that might help.”
Shocked in the Suburbs 